As the car’s nose points toward Birmingham and its wheels spin quickly, speeding us down the highway, I think of what awaits me there. UAB is a wonderful facility filled with excellent medical professionals, and I know I’ll be in good hands, but on occasion I have had to wrangle my thoughts in a positive direction. I imagine wrangling a steer may be easier than errant thoughts.

Today is not one of those wrangling days, but I’ve had a few of them of late. I’ve been enjoying my summer at the pool, riding motorcycles, and walking the track. How wonderful it has been to be able to once again do the things I love to do after being sidelined by severe arthritis. The thought of having my other hip replaced, and giving up my more active lifestyle for a while has given me a bit of a challenge.

If I’m totally honest, it has been just plain hard. The realization that surgery, and rehab, were on the horizon has brought me to tears many nights. I don’t usually think of myself as a weakling, but if you had seen me feeling sorry for myself you may have been tempted to place me in that category. I didn’t feel strong enough or brave enough to do it all over again, so I did what I have learned to do — tell it to Jesus.

I am amazed once again at the power of prayer, because I can tell you for sure my positive attitude is not forced, and my smile is not pasted on my face. It comes from spending time telling Jesus all my troubles. He created me, loves me, and knows my weaknesses. The power of turning my emotions over to God, and seeing Him work in my life is not only encouraging to me, but I hope that it may encourage some of you, as well.

Let’s face it, friends. Life is beautiful, but it can also be difficult. I make mistakes each and every day; we all do. And sometimes fear knocks on my heart so loudly that I stand quaking in my boots wondering if I have what it takes. I have come to realize that I really don’t. But it helps me so much to know that I don’t have to walk through this life alone. I have a great family, and wonderful friends, but in those moments when my pillow is damp with tears, and I don’t think I can face the things ahead there is only One who can really help me.

The Bible says, “My strength is made perfect in weakness.” I don’t know exactly what that means, but I do know that after pouring my heart out to God I feel confident and strong. He has spoken beautiful things over me from perfect strangers; maybe I’ll share them when all this is over. But for now I’ll keep those lovely words close to my heart and know that He sees me, and that He cares.

Jan Penton Miller can be reached at lilsisjan@yahoo.com.